Wake up, no shower;
I took one the night before.
Wait for school see your face
and know that nothing is for sure.

Not knowing is a problem,
and wondering all day
doesn't help to ease the pain
or bliss of my first kiss that day.

I go to school,
see your face again,
wonder why you did what you did
and pray to God that something might begin.

Walk up to the building,
gloomy and dark,
feel your hand on my body
and the shivers start.

The ecstasy of it all.

The feel of your touch
helps me to believe
I haven't thought too much
of what lies ahead
on the road in front of me.

The closer to the building we get,
the farther and more distant you seem.
Was it something I did,
something I didn't say,
or is it because of who I am
that made you act this way?

You leave me here to ponder this
throughout the entire day
until school finally lets out
and I'm still forced to pretend everything's ok.

Nothing happened today at school
or the night before;
just your lips on mine
and how I know i was insecure
about whether this is real
or whether you're a lie.
Did Ii just make this up
to feel ok about my life?

I'm in a daze throughout
the homework and the chores
until i see your face.


I'm finally away from those doors:
the doors of my insecurity,
my pain, and my fears.
I feel your hand on me again
and I want to burst into tears.

I've never felt this way
about anyone before.
The trouble is, I'm not sure
you feel for me anymore.
Maybe you never did.
I'm beginning to think so,
you never speak to me in the halls
I'm just a random person you don't know.

I walk to the basketball hoop
ever knowing of what goes on
when everyone is inside
when you and I are alone:
we kiss and hug,
touch and play.

As we do, things become clear
in a weird sort of way.
We're not meant for each other
you don't care for me,
at least not in a way that i thought,
we're just not meant to be.

Our relationship is a secret,
one that I hold very dear.
Without you to hold on to at night,
my dreams disappear.
I feel alone until I see you
and I'm lost without you there.

It's probably just a phase,
I'll get over you in time
but now I need you here by my side until dark
when I'm literally pried from your side.

You have so much to teach me
and I've got nothing to hide.
once scared and unsure
you've created a new me
a person who feels wanted
and needs to be
around for people to care about,
to love and to hold;
a person who can feel ok
with being bold.

I love you for this
and for these lessons in my life.
A life that is too short to live,
doesn't need constant strife.
I thank God for your being,
you don't know what you mean
to me and how I feel
about you here with me
although it's for only a few
hours a day
they're too precious in my heart.

So much for me not feeling that way.